I’m often asked by clients, “Is it bad to have a television or a computer in my bedroom?” I always answer by asking them what the purpose of their bedroom is – what is the job description of the bedroom? You may not in the habit of thinking of your rooms as having job descriptions but that’s what they have. What are they supposed to do for you? A room may serve several functions. The answer will depend on what room you’re considering and who’s using it. A child’s bedroom will differ in its job description in some ways than that of her parents’ bedroom.
What is your bedroom’s job description?
Possible answers: a place that enables you to rest, sleep, and enjoy physical intimacy, watch TV alone, or read. I recommend writing this down. Just like a real job, it is easier to improve what you measure or pay attention to.
Once you’ve answered what use this tried and true ‘make-the-cut’ method to determine what belongs in your bedroom.
With your job description in hand, take every single item [YES, everything – what’s out on view, hanging on the wall, under the bed, in the night stand, in the dresser, etc.] and ask if it meets the job description of the room.
One client had two boxes of clothes destined for storage that were in her bedroom for 3 months. Her job description called for a bedroom that gave her a great night’s sleep and lots of loving from her partner. Did these boxes of clothes help either? No. They were removed from the bedroom.
A very busy single man who worked with others all day long. He liked going to sleep watching television, so he had a television set in his bedroom. His bedroom was a place of retreat from the world, a good place to sleep, and a place where he could do his own thing without anyone else’s input. The television helped him relax and forget about the stresses of the world, and kept him company, so it made the cut and stayed in the room.
Some items aren’t as easy to decide upon. You could argue that they did meet the job description of the room. When that happens, take the item out of the room. Review the entire room for items you’re not sure of. After you’ve done the whole room, bring back one item at a time.
Put it where you think you’d like to have it. Then, ask your body, does this feel good to have here? Answer in a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ without a long period of hesitation.
If you find yourself answering with stories, ‘maybes’, or ‘not yet sure’, the item must be removed from the room and put to the ‘make-the-cut’ test a second time. Give yourself at least 15-minutes before bringing in an item you’re unsure of a second review.
What stays may include things such as: the bed, bedside tables, lamps, a dresser, artwork, photos, candles, meditation cushion, etc.
The net result: by removing items are over-stimulating to your nervous system, you will feel more relaxed, which is conducive to intimacy, meditation, and sleep. When you want to increase the level of stimulation in your bedroom temporarily, add stimulants to the room using candles, music, fragrance, television, or bright color. Remove them once you’ve achieved what you were seeking.